By Dr. Hodges
Back in medical school, I was in a band called The Bob Affair. We wrote such memorable songs as “Trampoline Girl,” “Rockuronium” and “Bobby is Angry about the Bernie Kosar Trade.” I played rhythm guitar and sang.
In honor of the publication of It’s No Accident, the guys and I got back together to write a song reminding kids not to hold their pee.
Granted, this was not a reunion on par with Aerosmith’s “Back in the Saddle” tour, and we don’t plan to hit the road. Still, I hope you enjoy the tune and, more importantly, pass on the message to your kids.
Parents think it’s cute when their kids do the potty dance — you know, the squirming, curtseying, or crotch grabbing kids do when they are holding their pee.
But the potty dance is not cute. It means your child is holding.
And, as I explain in great detail in the book, holding means your kid is on her way to developing a thickened bladder that may hiccup and expel pee when she is doing something other than sitting on the toilet.
Alarmingly, some physicians promote holding as a way to stretch a child’s bladder and stop accidents. This is totally misguided advice. It is regular peeing, not holding, that promotes bladder growth. Yes, I know that’s counterintuitive, but it’s true.
“Don’t Hold Your Pee” may not become the educational anthem that “I’m Just a Bill” and other Schoolhouse Rock classics became during my seventies childhood, but who knows — maybe Potty Rock will catch on.
P.S. Suzanne insists I note her objection to the kids eating burgers and American cheese, drinking soda and eating M&Ms — all contrary to our book’s pro-fiber, anti-processed-food stance. I told her to chill.